Learning
to be compassionate to ourselves may be the biggest challenge of all as we
strive to be more kind in our lives. One way we can be more compassionate to ourselves is by getting in touch with our pain. The Tibetan nun, Pema Chodron, offers
us a meditation tool called Maitri that can help us do just that.
Maitri (prounounced “My Tree”) enables us to develop an attitude of unconditional friendliness toward
ourselves…warts and all. A key part of Maitri is a meditation practice that puts
us in touch with our pain, whether it’s
physical or emotional. Many of us run away from our pain as soon as we feel the
first twinge. I usually look for what I call a “light switch solution” that
will enable me to self medicate and instantly turn off whatever is bothering
me.
Maitri
meditation is counter intuitive: it invites us to actually befriend our pain
rather than running away from it. Here’s a simple way you can use meditation to
get in touch with what’s bothering you. First, find a quiet spot with no
distractions and assume a comfortable posture. Then try to quietly visualize
your pain or anguish as a separate entity; perhaps see it as a person and give
it a name. Then have a conversation with it. Ask it some questions, such as “Why
are you here?” and “What do you need
from me?” and “What will soothe you?” Then sit back for a few minutes and
listen with your heart to what your pain has to say. You can repeat this
meditation more than once…in fact many times. And after you have spent enough
time getting to know your pain, you may decide it’s time to invite
it to move on, like a visitor who has overstayed his welcome.
Here's a ink to a video featuring Pema Chodron talking about Maitri:
