Before we talk about guidelines for interfaith dialogue, let's take a moment to talk about the meaning of the word "dialogue" itself.
Dialogue isn't a conversation (which tends to be shallow in its content). And it certainly isn't a debate. It is a pathway for two people to engage in a deep exchange of information and opinions; its goal is to increase understanding in both participants. And interfaith dialogue involves individuals from different religions, Christian denominations, or spiritual traditions.
Here are my four-and-a-half suggested guidelines for interfaith dialogue.
- Easy does it. Don't dive into the deep end of the interfaith pool too quickly. It is probably not productive to begin your dialogue by confronting controversial or explosive issues such as caste systems, suicide bombings, or the Israeli/Palestinian Conflict. Start with a less painful, less anger-producing topic or two and work your way up to more difficult and important dialogue topics. Remember, you aren't limited to one dialogue. Plan a series of interfaith encounters.
And pick a time and location for your initial dialogue that is comfortable and private, with minimal distractions. A faith-neutral space (library, coffee shop, park) is probably best. - Listen. REALLY listen. Frequently, when we talk with someone, we aren't paying attention to he or she is saying. Instead, we are mentally preparing what we are going to say next. In interfaith dialogue, it is extremely important that we pay extremely careful attention to not only WHAT is being said, but HOW it is being said. Watch for significant body language. And, if you don't understand or aren't clear about what your dialogue partner is saying, respectfully ask that person for clarification.
- Don't hold back. Share openly and fully about your beliefs and practices. There is a tendency in dialogue to water things down to a meaningless common denominator that is sweet but not very honest. It is important that we celebrate what we have in common but also what makes each religion different and distinctive. We don't have to agree about everything. In fact it may be healthier for us to live with the tension of knowing and disagreeing with another.
- Strive to understand rather than convince. If you begin with the idea that your partner is wrong and needs to be straightened out, your dialogue will likely be a failure. Remember, a dialogue is not a debate. The purpose of this communication is to increase your understanding (and that of your partner) of ideas and practices that hold significance to each of you.
Oh, and let's not forget the "half" guideline. Know your own religious orspiritual tradition before you begin. The person with whom you are dialoguing is probably hungry for information about your basic beliefs and practices. If nothing else, 'Google" the name of your religious group or spirituality (including atheism and agnosticism) and see what turns up. You might be surprised to discover some things you didn't know! Make notes. Memorize a few key points to share in your dialogue.
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